Watching VW Forge Crankshafts is Better for you than Yoga and Meditation Combined

Mindfulness. Yoga. Self-care. All seek to heal your soul and one of them sounds like a pretty dirty euphemism, but none is as effective as this 14 minute video of a Volkswagen crankshaft being forged, all shot on an organic, GMO-free, sustainably farmed potato.

Sure, Mindfulness and meditation will help clear your mind, but this will fill it with valuable information about metallurgy, all while giving you a pleasant sense of liberation as your mind becomes decluttered of those pesky “bad thoughts” as Dr. Alvin Cula, a nuclear proctologist who teaches at the Hollywood Upstairs Medical College and is a frequent Goop contributor, explains.

Forget about that dumb boss, those ailing children, that the planet is heating up to hitherto unknown temperatures by watching this short video of an impossibly large slug of metal being transformed into an impossibly intricate shape and imagine yourself being transformed from a big slug of metal into a wise and more confident person.

“Benefits of watching crankshaft forging include, but aren’t limited to, a general sense of betterness, the elimination of free-radicals in the gut biome, and the detoxification of 99.9 percent of intestinal bacteria,” says Dr A Cula. “All of which makes it even better for your health and wellness than concentrated dose of meditation, yoga, and mindfulness.”

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