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Ratty Rescue: 2 Slow 2 Silly

Better search Amazon for a bulk package of adhesive remover for this week’s Ratty Rescue, you’ll need allll of it. One of our faithful VWVortex readers needs to rescue this low mileage 1995 MK3 Jetta and restore it to acceptable condition.

The late 1990s shall forever go down as one of the most influential decades in North American history. Grunge rock, Tamagotchis, Cher’s hit song Believe, guys with frosted tips, Doc Marten boots, and The Phantom Menace. Never before and never again will we witness true icons like these.

But there’s one area where this era of exceptional taste didn’t quite reach: automotive customization. This 1995 Jetta GL illustrates the absurdity of car culture. Look past all the bric-a-brac slathered on this car and underneath it all is a Jetta with lots of potential. It just needs the right owner to find it.

[See image gallery at www.vwvortex.com]

To start, grab a razor and a bottle of Goo Gone and start taking off all those logos. What is that on the sides? A knight in shining armor riding a missile? That doesn’t scream that you’re overcompensating for something (or a lack of something) at all. Nope. While removing things, that body kit is quite garish. You’ll need to ditch it along with that airplane wing on the back.

You’ll need that adhesive remover inside too. There’s enough carbon fiber stuck on stock panels to cover manifold damage. Want to bring some friends along with you or fit that child seat into the back? Plan on removing the (fully functional we’re sure) roll cage. But the kids will at least have a PS2 back there to enjoy. Too bad the screen’s up front. And how do you remove marker from the dashboard? I mean who writes on a perfectly good airbag panel/glovebox door!? The 90s were weird.

After taking off all this detritus, what are you left with? Well, what you’ve got is a great little Jetta with an indestructible 2.0L engine mated to a handy automatic transmission. It has barely-ever-fail crank windows! And with only 21,000 miles, it’s a perfect commuter.

For only $99,900 you can rescue this poor MK3 Jetta and restore it to its proper Teutonic greatness. Live your life one very slow quarter mile at a time. You can see the car in person at Luxury Auto Collection in Scottsdale, Arizona. Or check out all the photos on their website.

The post Ratty Rescue: 2 Slow 2 Silly appeared first on VWVortex.



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