Ratty Rescue: …Jumps Over to the Lazy Blue Dog

So, you saw our wonderful Find of the Day on Monday and despite the tepid, even indifferent reaction it received, you’re cool and have excellent taste and also are my new friend, so you want to build one of your own. Have I got a car for you.

But first, let me explain to all the people who had the nerve not to Like Monday’s excellent Fox why the Fox is cool because y’all are wrong about everything.

Exhibit A: it is a wagon and that’s the coolest body shape. Exhibit B: it’s a two-door wagon, the secret, actual coolest body style. Exhibit C: it’s a Fox, which a lot of people don’t know about and which makes it cooler, because the measure of coolness is exclusivity. Exhibit D: no power steering for better connection to the road. Exhibit E: Jamie Orr’s excellent non-wagon Fox. Exhibit F: Geometric perfection. Exhibit G: it’s called the Fox, which is an excellent name.

Thank you for your attention. I think we can all agree that I’ve convinced you beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Fox wagon is worth your time and attention and is, indeed, super cool, like Mr Freeze. I accept your apology for not showering me praise and adoration when I posted Monday’s FOTD. We all make mistakes.

[See image gallery at www.vwvortex.com]

So why buy this one? Apart from the excellent reasons listed above? First off, you’ve got a lot of nerve asking questions after being so thoroughly proven wrong, but I admire your moxie. Second, it costs just $2,000, which you could probably negotiate.

Third, its gas tank barely even leaks anymore. It also has a bunch of other useful modifications, like a 5-speed from an Audi, seats from a Scirocco, an outlet manifold from a Dasher, and air-conditioning from the factory.

But this car is so wonderful and gorgeous and interesting, how could it be a Ratty Rescue and not a Find of the Day, you ask? Well, there are a few issues. The gas tank still leaks a little, the passenger-side door isn’t the same color as the rest of the car, because we live in a terrible world full of pain and suffering and this Fox is not exempt from that sadly.

But you can help end some of its pain and suffering by taking it home with you and making it look and drive as good and as well as we all know it could—nay should! And I think you really owe it to me after being so dismissive on Monday, wouldn’t you agree?

Thank you for your time.

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